December 10th, 2014...
This is a day that forever changed my life.
It was the day that my divorce was finalized and the first time I had ever chosen myself first in my life.
Prior to this, I was depressed, felt isolated, and had suicidal thoughts.
My relationship was falling apart, I felt unappreciated, undesired, and like nothing was ever good enough - I lived my life for HER;
I had no purpose, worked 2 dead-end jobs, and felt unfulfilled with what I was doing in the world.
I felt alone in my relationship, turned to porn to cope, and I felt like I couldn't reach out for help because "I'm a man" and "Men don't ask for help"...
These are same beliefs that a lot of men suffer from.
Two Kinds of Men
Most of us only knew of 2 kinds of men that exist...
#1 | The Unhealthy Stoic
#2 | The Nice Guy
I remember my mom saying, "Don't be like those mean boys - just be a nice guy."
Man did I not know how much that would fuck up my life. And like a lot of men, this story is relatable.
Nice Guys live their lives in covert contracts, doing things for others and expecting that they will return the favor without directly asking for what they want...
I know because I was one.
Yup...I got the badge and pretty much was the president of the club.
And this comes at the expense of not getting what you want, what you need, and what you desire out of:
- your relationships...
- your work...
- and your life as a man, leaving you feeling resentful.
Does this, or has this, sounded like you?
How Men of Refuge Began
In 2018 I Had An Idea...
And that idea was to start a men's group where we could have conversations that actually mattered - ones of true depth, accountability, and empowerment.
Women make it easy to have these conversations because they're incredible at listening and so empathetic.
And realized that there are some conversations that men just want to have with other men because we could relate to, well...being a man.
A lot of men are tired of the locker room talk.
A lot of men are tired of having surface-level conversations with men, knowing that deep down one of them is struggling and just wanting someone to ask, "So how are you really doing brother?"
That’s why Men Of Refuge Was Born.
Why Is This Important To Me?
Because I was You.
Over the last decade, I've dedicated my life to a journey of self-exploration as a Man, asking myself:
"Who am I as a man in this world where everyone is telling me what a man is and is not"
"What a man can feel and what he's not "allowed" to feel", and...
"Where do I feel MY purpose lies?"
And I've learned that your area of pain is destined to be your place of reign...
As men, we need to conquer our struggles to build the relationship, the business, and the life we know, DEEP DOWN, we're here for.
The World needs leaders right now. We need healthy, emotionally regulated men to step up, face their shit, become safe refuge for themselves and others, and lead lives of purpose and legacy.
And I want to help YOU build your dream life in a community of like-minded men who are committed to expansion of their consciousness, depth, and devotion to embodying what it means to be a strong, sturdy, and safe masculine presence that is needed in this world so deeply.